I Have Choices (Feelings)

Objectives: The student will become aware of appropriate ways to handle angry feelings.
Materials Needed: balloon
Directions:

1. Help the children share times when they have felt anger in the past.
2. Ask what would happen to our bodies if we didn't let the anger out - if we pretended not to be mad.
3. Take out a balloon and say, "I am angry!" I am filling my balloon with my anger. Blow it up a little at a time while making these statements.
4. Ask what would happen to the balloon if I didn't let my anger out. Talk about people who keep their anger inside until they "pop."
5. Since we all get mad sometimes, ask the students what things they can do to deal with their angry feelings. Here are some suggestions:
Tell someone you're angry.
Explain why you're angry.
Try to do something about what is making you angry.
Cry
Yell
Jump up and down.
Hit a pillow or punching bag.
Ride your bike
Run
Write a letter expressing your anger
Draw a picture expressing your anger

Closure

It is important that some form of closure take place with each group session, and it is especially valuable for the group to spend time on closure when the group meets for the last time.

The Empty Chair

Using the empty chair technique for many short-term counseling sessions. This technique is used to resolve a conflict between people or with a person. The child sits in one chair playing his own part, and then the child is instructed to speak to another chair, as if the person they are mad at is sitting in it. The counselor asks the child to express her feelings and then the counselor asks for her to express how the other person might feel or what he might say to her. This allows for the child to learn about herself and then discover how the other person may feel and how she can change her thoughts and realize what is really going on and how she really feels.

Fantasy Games

Fantasy games can be really fun for children to take part in. Children often become aware of their current feelings. The counselor can use just about any object or situation to create fantasy. For example the rosebush the child pretends to be a rosebush and all points of view are examined.

Greatest Weakness

Ask the student to name their greatest weakness and write down on paper a short paragraph on how this weakness is really their greatest strength. Students will begin to realize that they control the weakness rather than it controlling them. They also realize that no one is trying to get them to fix their weakness.

I Language

Encourage students to use the word "I" when they are talking instead of using "You". Using I language will help children take responsibility for their own feelings, actions, and thoughts.

No Gossip

In a session with the student do not allow for them to talk about others. Instruct the student to speak as if other people were in the room with them. Allow for the student to use dialogue that is directed to a specific person. Person to person dialogue not only updates the problem or concern into the present but also increases the child's awareness of that problem or concern.

Resent, Demand and Appreciate

Ask the student to list three people who are the closest to them and then for each of them ask on thing that the student resents, demands and appreciates about the people listed. This exercise allows for students to become more aware of the mixed feelings they have about people, and that it is possible and okay to resent, demand and appreciate people all at the same time.

Top dog vs Under Dog

Gestalt Techniques

This technique involves the helping a child to resolve problems of "I want" versus "I should". This is very difficult for children to work out debates between what they want and what they should do. The topdog is "I should" the underdog is "I want". Ask the children questions about the conflict and have them physically move for one spot to anther to answer as both the topdog and the underdog. The debate continues back and forth until the child completes all arguments from both points of view. The child will then understand which side he should take to solve the problem.

Substituting

Gestalt Techniques

Try substituting "won't" for "can't" and "what and how" for "why". Remember that how much of the responsibility the child will own in the question to be answered.

Responsibility Taking

Gestalt Techniques

Ask children to fill in sentence blanks as another way of examining their personal responsibility for the direction that their life has taken. Questions like: "Right now I am feeling_________, and I take ______ percent responsibility for how I feel." This exercise is an eye opener and helps children who tend to blame others for their good and bad feelings.

Person-Centered Techniques

Carl Rogers viewed people as rational, socialized, forward moving, and realistic. He believed that people express their personal problems and try to move toward adjusting their lives. Rogers also believed that people are capable in regulating and controlling their own behavior. When counseling individuals the counselor just taps into the person's resources and potential.

A Quote by Carl Rogers:

"One of the most satisfying experiences I know-is just fully to appreciate an individual in the same way that I appreciate a sunset. When I look at the sunset…I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a little on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more pink in the cloud color…" I don't try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds."

Goals

The goals of person-centered therapy is to assist students in becoming more autonomous, spontaneous, and confident, so that they can learn to be free and comfortable with themselves. When students become more aware of what is going on with themselves, it will be easier for students to stop fearing and defending the feelings that are locked inside. Students are able to accept their own values, circumstances, and will tend to trust their own judgment. Person-centered focuses on the individual and the relationship they have between where they are in life and where they would like to be.
Techniques

When using person-centered therapy to counsel students, the counselor must show unconditional positive regard toward the students so that they may have the opportunity to express openly their thoughts and feelings without being threatened. The counselor must listen carefully and observe the student and then be able to recall and convey the verbal and nonverbal messages communicated by the student.

Free Association

The rule to Psychoanalytic counseling requires that the student will tell the counselor whatever thought and feelings come into their minds, regardless of how personal, painful, or even irrelevant. Free association does just that. The child will be allowed to talk about anything that is on his mind without being judged or criticized.

Biblio-Counseling

Bibliocounseling is reading and discussing books about situations that are similar to what the child is going through. Doing this can really help the child in several ways. Some children have difficulty in verbalizing their thoughts and feelings; bibliocounseling provides an opportunity for children to relate their own problems to situations in a book. The goals of bibliocounseling are to:

* teach constructive and positive thinking
* encourage free expressions of concerned problems
* help children evaluate their attitudes and behaviors
* look for alternative solutions
* encourage children to find ways to cope positively in society
* allow children to see the similarities of their problems to others

Reality Techniques

Glasser believed that most behavior is a response to an external signal (things that occur around us). He believed that a single person could make people to do whatever it is he/she wanted even if the people do not want to do it. He also believed that people let other people control how they think, act, and feel. And then place blame. Reality therapy is based on choice. Therefore the student must exam and focuses on his/her belief system. Treatment will occur when the student makes changes and strategies. One of those changes must be that the student realizes that he/she can not change others.
Steps

To begin the process of reality therapy, behavior is viewed as a choice and certain steps will occur:

1. Build a good relationship with the student.
2. Have students describe their present behavior.
3. Have students evaluate what their life is like and what they are doing to help themselves. Make a list of what has helped and what hasn't.
4. Together look for possible alternatives for getting what is wanted out of life. And put them in writing.
5. The student will then have to make a commitment to try the alternatives.
6. Then together examine the results of the commitments.
7. Use attainable and clear alternatives so the consequences are logical.
8. Be persevering and sincere when assisting the student who is determined to destroy his/her self-esteem.


Questions Asked
Questions to ask in the interview process of using Reality Therapy.

* What are you doing?
* Is what you are doing helping you get what you want?
* If not, what might be some other things you could try?
* Which idea would you like to try first?
* When would you like to try?

Solution-focused Techniques

Solution-focused was popularized by Milton Erickson and focuses on finding solutions to the problems rather than dwelling on the problem.
Main Components

1. The counselor must develop a working alliance with students to help solve and understand the problem.
2. Identify students' strengths and build on upon them to develop self-esteem and confidence. This will help the student want to make positive changes.
3. Implement an eclectic variety of counseling strategies and techniques to help students achieve their goals.
4. Work with students' current problem and help them set clear and measurable goals. Evaluate progress often.


Make sure that goals are co-created and agreed upon by the student. When the student makes goals, he or she will take ownership. Make sure behavioral goals are made because they can be broken down into small steps. When writing the goal, state what behavior will occur, how often, and under what conditions.
Miracle Question:

"Should a miracle occur this evening while you are sleeping and when you woke up, you suddenly realized that your dilemma was solved, what would have occurred to indicate that the miracle actually happened?"


Steps
Structure the counseling session:

* Ask students what they want to get out of counseling
* Actively listen to help clarify the students' goals, situations, feelings, and expectations
* Talk about negative goals
* Set positive goals
* Ask the miracle question
* Ask relationship questions
* Reinforce goals and be positive about circumstances
* Have students draw pictures of their goals
* Ask students to rate on a scale 1-10 how they feel about their situations
* Give compliments frequently, verbally and through writing

The Winner’s Bet With Adolescents

Rational

The therapist bets with the adolescent to continue with misbehavior. To prove the therapist wrong, the adolescent must abandon the misbehavior.

Procedures

The authority figure describes the misbehavior, predicts the continuation, and challenges the adolescent to prove the therapist wrong.

Example

An adolescent complains that they are always on punishment for not doing chores. The therapist bets the client that he will not do his chores, therefore remains on punishment.