Put-ups & Put-downs

The following classroom guidance lesson was developed at Kennedy Elementary School by Candy Bell (Professional School Counselor) and Abigail J. Ostby (School Counseling Intern). This lesson was designed to help young children (Kindergarten and Grade 1) learn the difference between put-ups and put-downs as well as their effects on people's feelings.
Purpose:

To learn the difference between put-ups and put-downs and the feelings they elicit.

Learner Outcomes:

Students will be able to identify the difference between put-ups and put-downs.
Students will give examples of put-ups and put-downs.
Students will identify emotions that we feel when we hear put-ups and put-downs.

Materials:

Two objects (one soft and fuzzy; one hard and sharp)
Felicia Flower (puppet)
Construction Paper Hearts (2 large and same # small hearts as # of students)
Andrew's Angry Words by Dorothea Cachner
OR The Rainbow Fish to the Rescue by Marcus Pfister

Introduction:

The counselor will ask two students to volunteer to help with the lesson. One student at a time, the counselor will put the soft and fuzzy object in his/her hands and ask for words to describe what it feels like. Then the cold and sharp object is placed in the two students' hands. Again, they are asked for describing words of what it feels like. The counselor tells the class that these objects are like the words we use--some make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, other words are cold and sharp and hurt our feelings. The counselor then introduces new vocabulary: put-ups and put-downs. Felicia Flower can be used when discussing what emotions we have after hearing a put-up or put-down. The counselor reads the story to the students, discussing the put-downs in the story and the related feelings that we feel after hearing a put-up or put-down.
Activity:

The counselor shows the students a paper heart and talks about how this is like our heart when we are given put-downs, it too is affected. The counselor asks the students for some examples of put-downs that others say to us (i.e., siblings, classmates). As each put-down is stated by a student, the counselor wrinkles the heart. After about ten put-downs, the counselor asks the students what happened to this heart? What does it look like now? How might we feel if our heart looked like this? Then the counselor asks the students to share examples of put-ups, words that might us feel good about ourselves. As each put-up is shared, the counselor tries to smooth out the wrinkles in the heart. Twice as many put-ups should be shared.
Closure:

The counselor will then hold up a fresh, unwrinkled heart and the wrinkled heart. What do you notice about these two hearts? What is different about them? What does this tell us about the effects of put-downs and put-ups? (Not easy to undo a put-down, they last for a long time.) What do we need to be sure to do? (Think before we speak.) The counselor will then ask the teacher to hang up the two hearts in the classroom as a reminder of the effects of put-ups and put-downs. The children will also receive a small paper heart as a reminder to be careful with their words and to think before they speak.